A New Start

Last week, Ella's primary teacher emailed me asking for something about her from when she was little. I drew a blank and then checked through the blog and found some adorable things that were written about her when she was 3. I was so grateful that I had taken the time to record those moments, even when they were short and felt like they were a small beam of light in an otherwise cloudy day. I thought I really should try and take that up again, recording the little moments that make those positive impressions in my heart because they are forgotten too quickly and this is an easy way to jot them down. So, here's a whole bunch from just recently.

A couple weeks ago I was listening to some comedy cds and started thinking about my life in "bits." I was doing the dishes and this popped into my head. "Wow, I am really fast at unloading the dishwasher. I mean, if you can't get all the silverware in one hand to put it away, you are just doing something wrong. Sometimes, I think I am like Cinderella, only, at this point in my life, I would want to live her life in reverse! I would take caring for three grown adults over five children anyday! And I would take comfortable, worn rags and soft shoes over dresses and high heels, too!" Breanne said I needed to write it down, so there it is. :)

A little while ago Ella plopped down on the couch next to me and said, "Mom, do you like having so many kids." I think I might have been nursing at the time. I pursed my lips and said, "mmmhmmmm..." She continued, "I mean. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having a lot of kids." My chest was constricting slightly. Quick, think! I mean, I'm not going to tell her it's so awful, don't ever do it, and yet, I also don't want to paint a fantasy picture of me running hand in hand with all my little ones in a meadow, you know? I somehow barked out, "The pros are lots of love. The cons are lots of work." I just wanted the conversation to be over, fast.

Ella and Alex had a piano duet recital on Saturday. They did really well, though, up til then they had a rough go of it. They were butting heads and getting sloppy and careless. There were only two small stops in the songs and looking back they did great, though I was a nervous wreck through it all. On the way home I was trying to tell Alex what a great job he did. He said, "I thought of something and I thought it might work, and it did work I think, but I thought about it before, so I thought I would just do it." (I encouraged him to tell me what he did...) He said, "Before it was our turn to go up and I knew it was almost our turn to go, I said a prayer that we would do really well and not make any mistakes and I think that's why we did so good." What a sweetheart. After all the stress and frustration trying to get them to practice and get ready, here he is offering a sweet prayer before his performance. He is such a good example to me.

Will played the violin for the Primary Program for the last time last week. He's technically already too old, but they thought it was close enough to have him accompany "Love One Another." When they asked me about it, I said, "Ahhh, we have been playing a duet on that song together. It's really pretty." The ideal would be me playing with him, but there wasn't enough time for me to get it right and up to speed. So, they shortened the song and added the choir singing to the arrangement and he practiced it a few times. It turned out so beautiful. He hit all the notes perfectly and followed  the speed just right. The way the violin sings it's own melody around the lines of the song is just poetic. I thought about last year's program when he played a really fast, intricate part and years before when he has played other things and all the way to when he was like 6 and sang "I love to see the temple" in the most perfect pitched angelic voice. I am so grateful for the gift of music and for his quiet confidence and kind heart. It felt like the program was going along just fine and then it soared. I might be a little biased, but I was so grateful for that memory and for how grateful I am to have Will in my life.

Some sweet moments of the day today were: working on decorations for the Christmas party. Ian was full of rapt attention all day long. He was very sweet and following me around everywhere like a little puppy. The other day he wore his Halloween costume to school and was so quiet in the car I don't think he spoke one word which never happens unless he is asleep. I thought, "Who knew a little anticipation and excitement was all he needed to stop talking for a little while!" Ian also had a little violin lesson today. He actually knew some parts of the violin and guessed the A string! I think he probably knows a few things just from seeing and hearing Will practice. He is so excited to learn it. I'm not sure how gentle he will be with it, though. For now the violin stays up high in a closet and only comes out once in a while... Tonight for family night we really got laughing good. It was the first time I think we have all just enjoyed the time together and had fun. It felt really nice.

Yesterday my sisters all came over for lunch. That was a great feeling, too. There is something strengthening and comforting at the same time about having siblings around. Which reminds me of my 5k run with Adam. It was awesome. I have a time I can actually count as a good time. Not great, but good. Adam was great to run with. I had to walk a few times and felt guilty because he slowed to a slow jog. So, I'd cut my walk short and run back up to him. Later, when I told him I went faster because I felt guilty for slowing him down he said, "I wasn't doing that for you! You'd come running up and I'd think 'Break's over!'" haha I don't know if that's really true, but we had fun and it felt good. Forget running from zombies, running from valley-girls might be more effective....